May 11th, 2007
Happy Mother’s Day!
“O LORD of Heaven’s Armies if you will look upon my sorrow and answer my prayer and give me a son, then I will give him back to you. He will be yours for his entire lifetime.”
1 Samuel 1:11
There are very few verses in the Bible that specifically refer to how to be a good mom. In fact, there aren’t even many stories of mothers in the Bible. However, one story that grabs my heart each time I read it is the story of Hannah. Here is a barren women, laughed at by her husband’s other wife, who begs God for a son. She is so desperate that she even vows to give her son to God. “Give me a son, then I will give him back to you. He will be yours for his entire lifetime.” What did that mean to her? Her vow meant that after her son was weaned she would take him to the temple and he would live there with the priests. Can you imagine her emotions in the following years?
First would be the elation as she realizes she is finally pregnant. Then the joy of raising her son for a few years. And then it is time to give him up. She and her husband travel to the temple (it is a journey that they make 1 time/year), knowing that this was the last journey she would take with her son. I am not sure how I would handle that! Imagine, knowing that you were leaving your young son to be reared by another. Think of your own children. It is hard enough for me to pack them for camp, knowing that they are going to be away for a week. What about a lifetime? ** After explaining her vow to the priest, we see a bit of Hannah’s emotion. “My heart rejoices in the LORD!” (1 Samuel 2:1) What? Rejoices? Yep. And then she goes on with the rest of the prayer – praising God for who he is and his provision for her.
My oldest child Miriam was a planned, eagerly-anticipated child. I remember my elation when we found out I was pregnant and then the months of bonding with my child before she was born. I could not wait to actually hold her in my arms. How hard could mothering be? I had worked with many different ages of children before and had never experienced any major difficulties – and this was my child. I desperately wanted her, and I knew that she would just love me back! Then June 7th came and reality hit. Here was a screaming (doctors were amazed at her scream), colicky, unhappy girl who didn’t seem to care that I adored her.
I remember one day when Miriam was only a few weeks old. I had done everything I had read about in the books – changed her diaper, walked with her, rocked her, made her cooler, made her warmer, fed her….nothing helped. After a few hours of the unrelenting screaming I put her in her bassinet, sat on the sofa next to her and bawled. I remember my defeated attitude, “God, I cannot do anything for this baby you gave us. I have tried my hardest. You will have to take over from here. Nothing I do is good enough. You will have to raise her - I know I will not be able to meet her needs by myself.” It was then that I realized that was exactly where I needed to be. My child was not my child, she was God’s gift into my life for an undisclosed amount of time. Of course, I need to keep raising her the way I think is best; I still read books on child rearing and talk with other mothers to get their insights. However, at the base of it all is the knowledge that my child belongs to God. I love her, work for her, play with her, teach her, invest myself into her, but then I need to step back and allow God to also work in her. He’s asked that I pour myself into his child. That’s hard as a mother, but Hannah is a great example of a woman who did just that.
Hannah gave her son up, when he was just a young boy, to be used by God. Not sorrowfully or even begrudgingly, but joyfully.
On this Mother’s Day, I want to say “Thank You” to all the mothers, grandmothers, aunts and women of the church who invest in the lives of the upcoming generations. Mothering is the hardest (and yet most wonderful) job I have ever had, and I am glad there is a day where we can step back and say “Thank you” to each of you.
**Some reading this may have put their children up for adoption. I am a HUGE adoption fan, and I would want to support any mother who thinks of the welfare of her child over her own comfort or desires. I applaud you!