November 28th, 2007
Confessions of a Wimp
“Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight and the sin that clings so closely, and let us run with perseverance the race that is set before us.”
Hebrews 12:1
I have a confession to make. I’m a wimp. Many of you know that last year I got my hunting license and shot my first doe. I must admit, I enjoyed the time spent in the woods and the exhilaration of the shot. So, all year I’ve been looking forward to deer season. However, the first week of the season Tim was out at a friend’s house hunting and then we went on family vacation, so I didn’t get a chance to go out. No problem – there was still the week after Thanksgiving. Monday morning it rained and I was super tired from returning from vacation the night before. No hunting, but no problem there are other days. Tuesday when the alarm went off I was already awake because Ryan had been up most of the night sick. I was too tired to drag myself outside. Again, no problem, I would try for Wednesday. So today I got up and got out in the woods before daylight.
However, after about 1½ hours in the woods I was miserable! It was cold. My toes hurt, my fingers stung. Since I acquired the cold that Ryan had my nose kept running, but I didn’t want to move to keep wiping it, so it just ran. Then it started precipitating a mixture of hail/freezing rain/snow. Did I mention I was miserable? After two½ hours I came home.
As I was walking out of the woods, I began thinking about the account of some martyrs I had just read. The author, Eusebius, lived from 260 – 340 AD, and he wrote Church History, a book in which he recounts the development of the early church. On Monday as I read the stories of the men and women who were tortured and then killed, my mind kept asking, “Would I be able to endure that? Would I be true to Christ if I lived in that era?” They endured the torture of seashells scraping along their sides until their bones showed. They were roasted over slow coals. Their appendages were slowly burned off, one by one. Their right eyes were gouged out and their ankles were burned so they were maimed. Would I refuse to engage in ungodly practices and still proclaim my allegiance to Christ if I were living through those tortures?
The verse from Hebrews above follows an account of others who endured pain for their belief. The next verse gives their motivation, “looking to Jesus the pioneer and perfecter of our faith.” That was their key. They kept their eyes on Jesus, knowing that he is “seated at the right hand of the throne of God” (vs. 2).
Thankfully, my faith did not dim because of my wimpiness in the woods today. I cannot answer what I would do if I were truly tortured for my faith. I suppose now is the time we should each prepare ourselves for the unknown future. Now is the time we should learn the Bible, become awed by Jesus, dedicate in our hearts to follow him no matter where or what that means. I think that’s a question we should all wrestle with: “What would I do if told I must give up my faith?”