Tami’s Meandering Thoughts

“Then Judas, the one who would betray him, said, “Surely not I, Rabbi?” Jesus answered, “Yes, it is you,”
Matthew 26:25

Do you know anyone named Peter? Andrew? How about James, John or Matthew? Do you know anyone named Judas? We have, rightly so, attached a stigma to the name “Judas” and, generally, don’t name our children after him. Why?

We don’t know much about this scene described by Matthew, Luke and John, but we know enough to put some pieces together. Here was a group of 13 good friends. They had eaten many meals together, traveled many roads together, discussed many issues together. Sitting down for their last meal (although 12 of them don’t know it’s their last), Jesus makes the comment that someone sitting at the table with him, dipping his hand into the very same bowl with him, would betray him (Luke 22:21; Matthew 26:23). Suddenly a hubbub arises. Everyone turns an accusing eye to those sitting next to him and across the table. Can you hear the noise-level rising as each person assures his neighbor that he himself couldn’t possibly be the betrayer but inwardly now begins questioning his neighbors’ motives? Perhaps some began asking each other how a betrayal would happen. Others may have begun holding a mini-planning meeting on how to best protect Jesus. Frustrated that he wasn’t right next to Jesus, Peter motions for John to ask who this betrayer is. So, John leans back against Jesus and whispers, “Lord, who is it?” Jesus whispers back, “Whoever I give this bowl to.” (John 13:26) Picking up the bowl, he hands it to Judas who, in all the chaos had just turned to Jesus, echoing the question that everyone was asking of their neighbors, “Surely, not I, Rabbi?” (Funny question since earlier in the day he had agreed to turn Jesus over to the chief priests). Jesus quietly, so no one else heard, replied, “Yes it is you.”

How did Jesus answer? I don’t mean his words. Matthew recorded those. I mean his look. Was his face sharply set with an accusing glint in his eye? Or could the fire of smoldering anger have been seen in his look? I rather think his eyes opened a bit wider than usual as he gazed steadily but sadly back at Judas and answered.

Yes, Jesus had commented that it would have been better for the betrayer if he had never been born. However, with his knowledge of hell, I wonder if Jesus left out the accusing anger that he could have shown and instead said those words with a bit of a choke from the lump in his throat as he knew that one of these men would suffer eternally. Why do I say that?

Look at what Jesus says when Judas betrays him with a kiss in the olive grove, “Friend, do what you came for.” (Matthew 26:50) Friend. Jesus still loves Judas even though this man stood face to face with him with evil intent.

Most of us have been slighted at some time in our lives. Perhaps a criticism was said with an off-handed shrug. Perhaps someone talked about you behind your back. Or maybe someone confronted you face to face with her disappointment in you. This weekend I talked with a woman whose boss was lying about her. All of those times hurt, no matter what the comment or how many people heard it. We’re human. That’s natural. However, we need to respond supernaturally. Jesus still called Judas friend. No, he didn’t erase the consequences of the sin. Yes, he suffered immensely because of someone else’s betrayal. And yet Jesus still called Judas friend. How we respond to criticism may not change the view of the other person, but it will allow us shake the bitterness that will root itself in our soul if we dwell on the hurt or even plot how we can “hurt back”. I’m not saying this is easy. I’m not saying I have it down. However, I see Jesus looking back at his betrayer with love, and I am convinced that he would call us to do the same.