Tami’s Meandering Thoughts

“God is love.”
1 John 4:16

Do you have milestones in your life where you realize that the “next stage” is happening for you? This week I hit one of those. My daughter’s school sent home a flier announcing a school dance in May. Now, I’m not against dancing. However, I can think of nothing moral that would come from a school dance, and fifth grade seems awfully young to start that anyway! I didn’t think I would need to deal with this dilemma yet!!! Ugh!!!

After she and I discussed it, and then Tim and I discussed it, I went back to her with a few options (hehe I’m not going to put those options on here, but if you would like to know them, just ask!). In this discussion I wanted to acknowledge that she was entering into a new stage of her life – one in which she will not always appreciate her parents’ decisions. However, I assured her that our decisions would always be made out of love for her. I even told her that when she gets to my age she’ll appreciate me even if, in her Jr./Sr. High school years she doesn’t! As I prayed for her this morning, I realized the correlation between God’s love for us and my love for my daughter.

This week it was difficult for me to be grateful. I even wrote in my journal for school that I see all the blessings God has given me, but this week I didn’t understand God’s love. I know salvation itself is beyond my comprehension. However, it is much easier for me to see God as a judge than as a friend or as one who loves. In my journal I asked God to show me a bit of his love. This morning I realized that he had.

I love my children. I will never purposefully do something that I know will hurt them. I see this next phase that my daughter will go through, entering junior high with all the insecurity that brings. I watch as she vacillates between wanting to be a little girl and wanting to grow up. My heart aches for her as I know what these next few years will bring her. And yet, I won’t stop the years. I won’t step in her way. I won’t even shelter her from everything. However, I will make some decisions she won’t like in order to protect as I can. I will be here for her to run home to. I will go with her through prayer wherever she goes.

God is love. He loves me so much more than I could love my daughter. God is love. He may make decisions for my life that I don’t like, but just as I do that for my child’s protection and long-term joy, so God does that for me. God is love. He desires the absolute best for my life, and he has a long-term perspective that I don’t have just as I know the long-term goals my daughter can’t see right now. God is love. He may choose to stand aside and let me flounder or even make wrong decisions. He may need to discipline me for those decisions to help me grow spiritually just as I will give my daughter increasing freedom but also will still have the authority to discipline if incorrect choices are made. I don’t do that out of hate or need to control. I do that because I see the road ahead and love her so much that I desire to show her the right way. God is love. God is love.